This particular story takes a sudden turn of events, which was so unexpected and too good not to tell. I mentioned how my friend and I like to nickname the guys we date… so here’s the story about Religion Guy.

Before I started my job here in Spain, I was living life to the fullest. And by that, I mean I was drunk every night. The nightlife in Madrid is so good and cheap, that it’s easy to do.

One night the squad was at our usual Spanish club, dancing away to reggaeton, when my friend and I spotted the DJ, who we recognised from several parties that week. On his podium, far away from us dancing mortals, he was playing our favourite tunes. In our intoxicated state we came up with the logical conclusion of making it our mission to meet him, now. He’s cute, he’s Spanish, he’s a DJ and therefore we must know him.

As we were plotting away, coming up with multiple strategies, a gorgeous stranger and his less attractive geeky friend approached us. The stranger eyed me down, as I did him. Tall, dark and very pretty, just my type. He started chatting to me, while his geeky friend was awkwardly hitting on my friend. She, obviously out of his league, managed to escape while I was deep in conversation.

After several shots and a lot of dancing I did something I had never done before. I went home with him, totally forgetting about my friend, whom I left all alone in that club.

We were in the car for 15 minutes when I realised we were heading out of Madrid. “Where exactly do you live again?” I was sobering up and started to become nervous. “In a small town outside of Madrid, it’ll take a while to get there” – shit.

As I was telling him about how I am a Muay Thai fighter and have beaten up guys much taller than him, my phone buzzes. I take a look at the picture message I received. A selfie of my friend and the DJ on the podium, the crowd dancing behind them … what?

30 minutes later we were still driving. The stranger who was taking me home found it amusing how I went on about my boxing skills. “I could kill someone, you know”


His house was set beautifully in a small town. There was a pool outside and the flat was big and modern. We had some wine and ended up talking for hours about the world and God. Literally.
For me these kind of esoteric conversations happen when in an intoxicated state. While you mean what you’re saying, you kind of don’t. He told me about his religion, which focuses on inner happiness and living together peacefully. A progressive religion. “That makes so much sense” I hear myself saying… does it really though?
The next morning I feel rough, turning around to a guy I barely know. I look at my phone and spot that DJ selfie… what?

Then I remember last night’s conversation. Religion… God… abstinence. On my way home I start to think about what he had said. Is it a religion? It sounds more like the type that Tom Cruise practices…

Months pass. Occasionally Religion Guy writes me, but we never seem to find a time to get together. Then, one day it happens. We go on a date.

He’s awkward and shy. It didn’t click like it did that night, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. So I sit through the date, trying hard to strike up conversation.

The night ends and I tell Religion Guy I’d like to go home. “To mine or yours” what? Did we just sit through the same date? I make it clear I would like to sleep in my own bed, alone. And this is when it happens. The shy, slightly awkward (yet still very handsome) guy flips out. He tells me he expects me to go home with him. He had even changed his sheets (his exact words).

We go our separate ways. I cringe at the situation and wonder why drama follows me. A few weeks later he invites me to a jazz concert. I decline and thought that’s that.

Here’s the twist. Today I was sitting in my usual cafe working on some things for the coming week when I stare Religion Guy straight in the face. Damn, he’s handsome.

He sat down across from me and we talked for a while. Suddenly he tells me he would like to apologise for the way he acted, but also thank me, as the night with me made him think about his happiness. He came to realise that he was in a bad place at the time. It was something I told him that night after our disagreement which stuck with him.

He dwelled on that night for a long time and felt he had to do something about it. He had turned to mediation, stopped drinking and smoking and is now fully committed to his… religion. He has found God within him, and centred himself through spirituality. All I could do was stare at him… what?

He concluded his epic self-finding story to tell me that I should probably turn to meditation too, in order to find my inner peace… great.

I went home thinking about how a situation I didn’t think twice about changed someone’s lifestyle so fundamentally. I rode off this bad date as one of my many dramatic and traumatic experiences. I have come to terms with being a drama magnet. I didn’t choose dramatic life, dramatic life chose me!

There’s one thing that astonishes me though. How come I have the capability to make people realise such deep and meaningful things? I think back to the time I made a guy realise he’s still in love with his ex (unfortunately true story). These men later tell me that if it weren’t for me, they’d still be living a lie. Jeez, I made this guy meditate for crying out loud! What is it I say or do that triggers some kind of enlightenment within? And if I really have this power, then why do these dramatic situations leave me exhausted and alone?

Maybe, Religion Guy is right and I should start meditating.





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